One of my biggest realisations to date:
The isolated, cold, miserable, hate-driven space does not have to be permanent. You can shift your emotional compass. You can create greatness in your own right. I have and so can you.
The realisation that the puppet show (my life of masking emotion) needed to end terrified me because I knew I would have to step into the unknown. I would be leaving my ‘safe zone’, which oddly enough had become home to anxiety and depression. It may sound strange to some, but I had a somewhat like ‘bond’ to my mental illness.
However, the fear of making a change was balanced with the fear of not making a change.
With the support of my community, I decided to speak. This was a challenge in itself. The first time I shared, I barely spoke 3 words. Each time, I shared a little more, then a little more.
Conversations were created. I felt emotion. I asked for more help. I received it. I yelled. I cried. I asked for support again. I received it. I yelled some more. Tears still flowed. I screamed. The tension was released. The pain was expressed.
Forgiveness and acceptance were explored and practised (gently), again and again, and again.
Kindness and love overcame hate and fear.
I began to heal. I began to realise that life can be an opportunity for creation and growth.
With the help of some wonderful supporters, I have learned how to live peacefully and kindly.